She was my own Mrs. Kravitz.  Checking in on us if she didn’t see lights on in the kitchen enough.  After we had blinds installed in the kitchen windows she commented on how “unfriendly” our house looked.  “I like looking over to your house and seeing you working in the kitchen she would often remark.  One day I got a frantic call from George.  “Christine, your kitchen is on fire.”  Turned out it was just the steam coming up from the dryer vent that made him think our house was on fire.  Having two watch dogs next door was a comfort.  When Mark and I went out-of-town without the boys, we never worried about parties or overnight guests.  We would get a full report when we returned on what had happened in our absence.

You couldn’t ask for a better friend or neighbor.  Elaine was the “Bunco Queen” of the neighborhood.  If she only came home with $20 it was a bad night for her.  She was tiny, but a fierce competitor in the dice rolling category.  She loved coming to book club to find out what was happening.  If you wanted to know what was going on in the neighborhood, all you had to do was ask Elaine.  She  was always outside working on her garden’s or yard and was more than willing to stop and talk to anyone who happened by.

Elaine was always quick to volunteer to help get ready for a party.  She was the one bustling around in the kitchen, making sure everyone had enough to eat and was having fun.

She became part of the Christmas Eve morning breakfast club with Kim Zechmann, Terry Merz, Nancy Reid and myself.  What started ou

t as an impromptu breakfast on Christmas Eve turned out to be a treasured annual event.  Since once a year wasn’t enough, we started to go out for each others birthdays.  In February, we went to Vine Park Brewery to make beer the now famous Tonka Babes Beer.

I miss her impish smile, the way she started every sentence with “Say..” followed by that sharp jab in the ribs.   miss her pragmatic way of looking at the word.  I look out my kitchen window hoping to get one last glimpse of her, having a hard time believing she is gone.

Good Bye old friend.  Thanks for the memories and the reminder to savor every day.  Thanks for the legacy you have left us.  The neighborhood is a quieter place without you in it, but you have touched the hearts of all of us. I am reminded of the bracelet I gave you and the other gals “A friend reaches for our hand and touches our heart”.  I can still feel you reach for my hand since you are definitely in my heart.

I wish I could call her tomorrow and let her know how much I love her.  But I can’t.  But maybe you can.  If your Mom is still alive, give her a call or better yet, send her a letter.  Tell her what she means to you and what she had done for you.   Don’t wait.  Do it today.  Trust me, it will mean more to her then flowers, chocolates or anything else you can do.

Just call and say hi.

He was born on his grandparents farm during the start of the depression.  His father was a plumber and his mother a housewife. He learned to speak German and only learned English when he started to attend school and when World War II started and people were looked upon with suspicion of they spoke German.  He enjoyed school and sports.  Spent the summers at his grandparents farm and hung out with the hobo’s at the train center.

He rebelled against piano lessons, but later as an adult, took lessons and practiced every night.  He decided in high school that he wanted to become a Civil Engineer and attend College, against his father’s wishes.  With the silent support of his mother he applied and was accepted to Valparaiso University.  He received a deferment for military service to complete college.

While at college, he went on a double date with his sister Mag and a friend of hers from nursing school Hazel Bremer who would become the love of his life.

He graduated from college, started a job, but then was inducted into military service that August.  He gave Hazel his 1941 Ford that he had bought from a fraternity brother for $150 and boarded a bus for Toledo Ohio where he was sworn in, given a physical and sent on the train to Fort Mead Maryland.  In 1953 he was assigned to the 29th Engineer battalion in the Philippines.

Bob & Hazel Etzler August 28, 1954

On August 27, 1954 he received his honorable discharge and was married the next day.  Hazel and Bob settled into their new home in Ottawa , IL where he worked for the IL DOT.  They welcomed their first child Cindy the following June. Over the years they moved to Kalamazoo, MI, South Bend IN and finally Fort Wayne IN where they bought the house he still lives in.  In the meantime, they added another 5 children to the family.

We were raised in a loving home with strict discipline.  Saturday night curfews weren’t necessary when you had the obligatory 8 am church service where we sat in the front pew.   Faith is his touchstone throughout the years and continues to be the bedrock of his existence.  If you looked up “Godly Man” in the dictionary, there would be a picture of my Dad.

He was a Structural Engineer for most of his life, even after being retired for over 20 years he still gets calls for consultations.  He was an adjunct professor at the local colleges and we would often field calls from frantic students asking if Mr. Etzler was there and could help him.

Some would call him a simple man, but he is anything but.  He wears his emotions on his sleeve and is more than willing to give you the shirt off his back.  He is a principled man and he and my Mom raised six successful children who have passed on his legacy to his grandchildren.

He is a loving, caring and loyal man.  He is my Dad and I love him very much.

Because of my Mom’s illness and death, I became much closer to my family. Having her ill, reset my priorities. I spent a lot of time in Indiana the first five months of the year. I talked to my sisters and brothers more often then I had probably ever. And I had a chance to get to know my nieces and nephews better during this difficult time. I learned of the impact my Mom and Dad had on so many people, and it started me thinking about the legacy that I would like to leave.

I wasn’t unique in losing my job. Tens of thousands of people lost their jobs in 2009. Looking back, it was a blessing in disguise. Being “in transition” has given me the time to really figure out who I am and what I want to do. After several months off, I realize I really do like to recruit and I am good at it.

I met some incredible people in 2009 who have given me support and the kick in the butt I needed.

So here is to 2009, a hard difficult year with some great lessons learned. As we move into 2010, a new year and a new decade I feel stronger and ready to move ahead and reach some of those dreams that have been kicking around in the back of my head.

Mom doesn’t need the physical care, she did before. She is in her bed downstairs and will not be leaving it again. What she does need is the emotional support which in many ways is harder to give and takes more our of you.

I am overwhelmed with the number of people who’s lives she has touched so deeply. Visits from friends abound. Today a friend from nursing school is arriving. Later another friend from church is stopping by. Who knows who else will be here. Reading the e-mails to her, I am the one who gets choked up. She takes it in stride, drinking in the words which are more satisfying then water.

Last night and today she seems so much better. My sister Cindy mentioned that she thought it may be 7 – 10 days before she dies. But this morning, Mom mentioned that she sees her parents, Frank and Clara. Clara in her nice blue suit with the hat and Frank in his overalls and white shirt. They are calling her home. She feels a tap on her knee, some would call a spasm, but she said it is her parents, telling her it is time to come home.

I can only imagine the celebration when she arrives in heaven. The line will be long of those longing to greet her. It gives me comfort knowing that she will be there waiting.